The Forty-Year Secret Novel

The Forty-Year Secret

2025, Zofia Kowalska

Romance

Free

a woman takes a maid job to help her bankrupt husband, promising to support them while he seeks revenge for their downfall, a secret contract binding her to silence in the opulent yet strangely simple home of her new employers. She meets the stern master and the seemingly kind mistress, sensing mysteries within their walls, while her husband at home grows suspicious of the secrecy surrounding her new life and the unusual wealth it promises. As she navigates her duties and the peculiar dynamics of the household.

Hinata

The protagonist. She is a determined and resourceful woman who takes on a job as a maid to support her husband after they face financial ruin. She appears elegant and capable, hiding her true circumstances. She is loving and loyal to her husband, willing to do whatever it takes to help him.

Naruto

Hinata's husband. He is deeply loved by Hinata and is grappling with their recent bankruptcy. He is concerned about Hinata working as a maid but appreciates her support. He is also focused on finding out who caused their downfall.

Samuel Jefferson

The master of the house where Hinata works. He is described as handsome, masculine, and elegant, appearing calm despite his strong voice. He is secretive and enforces strict rules, requiring Hinata to sign a confidentiality agreement.

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 	She woke up this cold morning to prepare for her new job. She glanced at the man sleeping next to her. She approached him quietly and gently kissed his forehead. Then she removed the covers to go take a shower.

After her usual morning routine of taking a shower, then running for half an hour, and then preparing breakfast for her and her husband, she stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her appearance and chatting with him.

She said she had a passionate, loving husband, and she considered herself lucky to have him.

"This job will be a good way to improve our circumstances, believe me."

"Are you really willing to work as a maid for someone?"

"You didn't see the salary in the job offer? Didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but don't you think it's a lot for simple housework and sitting with the master of the house's wife?"

"I don't think it's a lot of money for simple housework and sitting with the master of the house's wife?" She turned to meet their eyes. "I'm your wife, and I must be by your side at all times, whether good or bad. Now we've fallen into the abyss after going bankrupt, so let me handle the expenses, and you handle the search for whoever pushed us down. Please get hold of him." He smiled. He loved her for her tenderness and kindness, and how she could change his situation from bad to better. He didn't respond, so she returned the smile with her cheerful face and went back to brushing her hair. They left the room, so he could hug her before she left and he went to sit on the couch. She took the house key and said, "I'll call you with the details."

"Okay, good luck. Bye."

"Bye. I love you."

"I love you more."

She put on her shoes, took her phone, and left. She was walking briskly to catch the bus. She looked elegant enough to be a maid. Her long linen coat reached her legs, along with white pants, a bone-colored, high-necked shirt, and matching mid-length boots. Her long, violet-blue hair was blowing in the wind behind her. She thought she was late, but she arrived a few minutes early. She stood waiting for the bus, watching the clouds gather in the sky.



"It's going to rain," she muttered as she glanced at her watch to check the time.

...................

A few minutes after arriving at the address written in the letter the employment agency had sent her, she checked the address on the house and her phone to confirm it was the intended location.

The job application stated that the owner owned a chain of diamond stores around the world. The house was very simple, not reflecting their extreme wealth.

"They don't like to attract attention. Good." That was her first impression.

She walked over to the front door and knocked quietly. A white woman in her fifties, short compared to Hinata, and plump, opened the door, smiling slightly.

"Here, how can I help you?"

"Oh, I applied for a maid position here, and the lady of the house accepted me. I'm the one you contacted yesterday."

"You're Hinata?"

Hinata nodded affirmatively, allowing the lady to make way for her and ask her to come in. Hinata entered quietly, and the lady began to explain.

"I'm here to take care of the cooking every day of the week. You're responsible for taking care of the house and arranging it to suit the lady's mood." Hinata raised her eyebrows in surprise, but the lady didn't notice. She continued, "You'll start working today, but before that, I'll show you around first."

"This is a rapid development in events," she said to herself, laughing. The lady began leading her around the house, the lower level first, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, two bathrooms, and a room for the lady's activities, including painting, embroidery, playing music, and sewing. The room was medieval in style and was the largest room in the house by far. Then they reached the study. The lady said in a low voice, almost a whisper: "This is where the master spends most of his time. The study must be arranged precisely so that nothing shifts by even a centimeter. The master doesn't like people messing with his things." Hinata interrupted her, laughing, "Oh my God, it's as if he'd know if I'd move it by a centimeter or a millimeter. She's exaggerating a lot." The lady continued, "And I almost forgot... If you ever enter the study and find it messy, don't touch it." All this while they stood in front of the massive white, two-piece office door. The lady approached and knocked three times in a steady rhythm until she heard a loud voice permitting her to enter. Shivers ran through Hinata's body at the strength of his voice and the sight of him, his back turned towards them. Hinata couldn't deny feeling afraid of her. Millions of horrific scenarios crept into her mind. Damn her vivid imagination.

After the door opened wide, Hinata and the lady stood opposite the master of the house's desk, who was searching for a book from the library behind it.

The lady snorted briefly before saying, "The new girl Mrs. Jefferson hired, sir. As you requested, I brought her directly after showing her the basement." He didn't turn around or reply, but continued searching for his book that had been occupying his mind since yesterday. But after their long wait and his own search, he decided to give up and resume his search another day. He finally turned to them, and Hinata saw his handsome, masculine features. His face was handsome and calm, as if the voice she had heard a moment earlier hadn't come from him. He had brown eyes and long, carefully combed chestnut hair, with an elegant formal outfit. He looked as if he had stepped out of a fairy tale. He was tall and had a perfect body. His clothes were also elegant: black pants and a formal shirt, and a luxurious silver watch. Hinata let out an audible sigh of relief, and the short lady looked at him in confusion, and the man standing behind the desk looked at her with great surprise that overwhelmed his features. Her face turned red and she was about to apologize, but Mr. interrupted her, saying, "I'm Samuel." Jefferson: I think you know me from the newspapers...? She nodded as he continued, pointing to the short lady: "And this is Mrs. Louise MacInnes." Hinata looked at her, and Mrs. MacInnes smiled. Hinata returned his gaze to Samuel, who said: "Have a seat." Hinata sat down, and Mr. MacInnes stood beside her. Samuel continued: "Louise will take care of any instructions you may expect from me or my wife, as she has been working here for a very long time, so listen carefully. My wife loves perfection."





She nodded in understanding as he sat down, handed her a piece of paper he'd taken from the drawer, and placed it in front of her, saying, "You know the salary you'll be receiving, and you've already signed a contract with the company that hired you. So, this contract is for the safety and security of my house. You must sign here, promising not to divulge the secrets of this house to anyone, even to yourself. Saying anything that happens outside the house will put you under legal accountability." Hinata opened her eyes in surprise at his words. "Why all this secrecy and isolation?" she said to herself. "It's none of my business. Now I get my salary, pay Naruto's debts, and build our empire away from this nonsense."

"Ahem." Samuel cleared his throat to get her attention after seeing her absent-minded and continued, "I don't want to see this behavior again. Being distracted while talking and not concentrating will get you fired before you've even finished a week here."

Hinata wasn't pleased by his sudden change of tone. She wasn't used to this life: being ordered around and reprimanded for her mistakes. But life is always full of surprises. If she wanted to help her husband, she had to obey.

"I apologize, sir. I'll try to be more vigilant next time."

"Don't try, just do it."

His words had two meanings: the first was to urge her to make a double effort at concentration, and the second was to urge her to sign after he brought the paper closer to her.

Hinata looked at the paper for a while, without carefully reading everything written on it. She took a pen and quickly signed. She was surprised to see Samuel get up, pick up the paper, his long brown coat, and the bag, which appeared to have been lying beside him on the floor.
He left the office without even looking back.

Hinata stood up, puzzled. "What kind of idiot husband did you marry this lady?" That was what she was thinking. Curiosity overcame her and she asked, "But where is Samuel-san's wife?" "She's in her room today. She probably won't leave it. Sometimes she doesn't like to meet or see anyone." "Is she old?" "Because Samuel-san looks very old." "No, he's not. The gentleman isn't even forty yet, but the lady is probably five years younger than him." "Really? She's only a year older than me. We're almost the same age. How sweet." Hinata clapped her hands enthusiastically, hearing Mrs. MacInnes say, "The lady here is very kind and sweet. You'll love her. But please don't become friends with her. You'll regret it later, believe me." Well, they deliberately say things that confuse me and make me lose my mind. Damn it, and then they ask me to focus.

Hinata and Louise went to show her the rest of the house, except for the master bedroom, which, in Hinata's opinion, shouldn't have been entered given the mysterious lady's condition.

After the tour and the instructions here and there, some of which Hinata had memorized and others she had written down for later, she told Naruto about her late return.
She then got to work hard, sweeping the floors, polishing the furniture, washing the dishes, and cleaning the guest rooms, which were four, which were too many. Then evening came, specifically at nine o'clock...






Hinata was getting ready to go home when Louise stood in front of her, carrying a medium-sized plate covered in foil. "I've made you some of today's dinner. I hope you enjoy it." Hinata smiled gratefully. She was too tired to cook, and she couldn't let Naruto cook, either. Otherwise, they'd both end up in the hospital poisoned. "You can't believe how happy I am now. You saved me. I didn't know how I was going to get back and cook dinner tonight." "Mr. and Mrs. would love it if I cooked a medium-sized meal to share with me and any other girl who works here, so thank them tomorrow." "Okay, I will." "Wait a minute. Some instructions for tomorrow and a few special days." Hinata looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Work will be every day from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM, except for Sunday. There are also days when you might have to stay overnight.
Here, I don't sleep with them. Also, for the first three days,
you'll be cooking the three main meals.
I hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all."

"Good, then, good night."

"Good night."

Hinata bid her farewell and headed home. She was truly exhausted, but she couldn't hide her curiosity to know what this family was keeping secret. She was also excited to see the lady tomorrow. .....

It's a very beautiful house. I wonder what makes its owners so mysterious and secretive, she said to herself after she began imagining some strange secrets, such as nuclear weapons and plans to kill the queen and take her crown, until she began laughing like a madwoman at her strange thoughts. She returned home to be greeted by her husband, who said, "Welcome back! My beauty! Tell me what's up..."

They sat together at the dinner table and placed the plate Louise had prepared between them. He began to take a small amount of it and place it on their plates. Hinata told him about the house, its simplicity, and Louise's kindness. She was about to go on to mention Samuel's strangeness and the woman she hadn't met yet, but then she remembered Samuel's words about complete secrecy. She told him about the contract, saying, "They asked me not to utter a word. I'm deaf, blind, and mute. I only speak when necessary. I signed a contract of silence, and I can't break it."

- Why all this strange caution?

- I really don't know.

- Did you feel that this Samuel might be dangerous?

- No, he doesn't seem dangerous at all. On the contrary, he seems ordinary, tidy, elegant, and like any other aristocratic man.

- First of all, no one uses that word these days, my dear. Second of all, haven't you ever seen any movies about the mafia?
She shook her head, so he continued, "Seriously, elegant men are the ones you should be suspicious of. Look at the Italian mafia; they're more sophisticated than the Italian president himself.
While the good guys look evil, if you don't know these simple things, you'll make me worry about you while you're there."

- Hey, Naruto, don't worry too much. Just let it go, please, and you'll see that I was right.

- I'll try for you.
I also hope you're right.

________________________



Hinata arrived an hour early because she was the one who would prepare breakfast and the rest of the day's meals. She met Louise in the garden of the Jefferson family's home. Louise greeted her, and Louise handed her a spare key to the house. "This is for emergencies and special days I told you about, and also if you'd like to come early," she said. "Thank you." She smiled and took the keys from her. Louise opened the door for them to enter, and they immediately headed to the kitchen. One hour was enough to prepare the delicious food for everyone's favorite morning meal. With Louise's help, Hinata was able to do everything she'd found in the instructions for Tuesday's breakfast. They began carefully setting the table for two. Hinata was focused on every detail. She truly wanted to keep her job, and she kept repeating, "The lady loves perfection, the lady loves perfection." She added her own touch here and there to add her own flair to the lavish table. After she finished, she and Louise went back to the kitchen to tidy up the mess Hinata had left behind and also to eat breakfast. While they were eating, Hinata asked curiously, "Why don't you go wake them up? It's 8:30."

"The lady doesn't like to be woken up. She'll get up on her own and wake the lady up with her. When they come down, we'll move on to heating everything up."

Hinata sighed in frustration and finished eating her breakfast.

A few minutes later, they heard a soft, quiet voice coming from upstairs.

"Louise, are you here?"

Louise stood up, startled, and pointed to Hinata, who was very excited to see this mysterious woman. Hinata understood and quickly went to heat the coffee, tea, and milk again, while Louise went to the source of the voice. While Hinata was heating the drinks, she tried to overhear the conversation taking place between Louise and the lady.

"Ma'am, are you feeling better now?"

"Of course, Louise. Thank you for asking. Is breakfast ready? I'm feeling hungry."

"Yes, of course, it's waiting for you, ma'am."

"Is the new girl good at cooking?"

"Yes, she's good. I think you'll replace me after you taste what I've cooked."

"She laughed gently, then I heard her say, "That's never going to happen."

Her eavesdropping was interrupted by the boiling milk, which spilled all over the stove. What a foolish predicament Hinata had gotten herself into.

After she finished heating the items and placing them back on the table, she stood in front of the stairs, waiting for Mrs. and Louise to come down. Moments later, a young woman with pale, white skin, a slender body, and attractive features came down. Her eyes were sleepy and emerald-colored, her eyelashes were thick, and her hair, which was short and reached her neck, swayed softly with every movement she made. It had an attractive color.





"Pink...???" That's what Hinata muttered when she arrived, her eyes on her hair.

She was wearing a long, pearly silk dress with long sleeves tied at the wrists. Her neck was adorned with a simple necklace. A flower hung from it, its petals covered in diamonds. This wasn't unusual for Hinata at all.

The lady smiled as she stood in front of Hinata, with Louise behind her. She returned the smile, and before Hinata could say anything, Louise spoke, "My lady, Hinata Uzumaki, the new maid."

The lady's smile widened as she said, "Welcome, Hinata. I hope you don't find work here tiring. I'm Sakura Jefferson. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Sakura bowed respectfully, as the Japanese do in greeting, and Hinata did the same, saying, "Me too, my lady."

They sat up at the same time, and Sakura said, "Don't call me ma'am, please. Just Sakura."

"Yes, Sakura-san, here you go eat."

Sakura laughed loudly, "Seriously, don't be a mini-Louise and don't make me feel like I don't live in my own house. Please, just act smoothly."

Hinata smiled and nodded in agreement. She hadn't expected that this was the woman her husband and Louise had described as loving and perfect. On the contrary, she was extremely spontaneous and didn't care about details, as had been said about her.
Spontaneity is the exact opposite of perfection, and they only appear in the same sentence when she deliberately put them together, as I did.

Now...!

Sakura sat at the head of the table and began to eat, with Louise and Hinata standing relatively far away from her.

Hinata chattered, "Where's Samuel-san? Didn't you say she'd wake him up? Don't make me heat things up again. I might burn the house down this time."

Louise helplessly hit her forehead and said, "The master left early for important business and won't be back until late. That's what the lady said."

Sakura interrupted them, placing a piece of food stuck in her fork in front of her mouth as she finished chewing the one in her mouth. "This is delicious, but it sounds just like your cooking, Louise."

Louise was a little confused and then said, "I think Hinata is so good that she followed the recipes I wrote her word for word. Maybe that's why you feel it resembles my cooking."

Sakura smiled and turned her head back to the table to continue, but then turned back to them and said, "Have you had breakfast?"

They both shook their heads, and Sakura said in a voice that sounded sad: "Come on, come and eat some with me. I don't want to eat alone." They both came forward and sat down, Hinata on her right and Louise on her left. Sakura smiled, saying, "Thank you both," before finishing her meal. Louise muttered, while Hinata replied, "You're welcome."

.............

Breakfast was over, and when it was time for lunch, the three of them sat down at the table. Sakura commented on Hinata's cooking again, saying that it resembled Louise's, especially the way she made the meatloaf. This caused Hinata and Louise to become confused once again, even though Louise lost her appetite and stood up, claiming indigestion. As for dinner, it was the same comment, and the strange thing was that no one offered an explanation this time. Perhaps they thought Sakura was stupid and wouldn't understand that Hinata was clever, or perhaps because they were hiding something and were afraid that if either of them spoke up, their secret would be revealed.





Hinata's first day of cooking and organizing went well. She heard some simple instructions from Sakura about her private, diverse room. Other than that, she never spoke to Hinata, even when sharing meals with her. She never asked her about her personal life or anything else. Hinata, meanwhile, was eager to ask her questions and talk to her, but she never found the right opportunity. It was almost nine o'clock and it was time for Hinata to return home. She was putting on her coat outside the door. She saw Sakura sitting in the living room, reading, holding a glass of wine. She was staring at her for a long time, lost in thought, with millions of questions about the secrets hovering around her running through her head. Meanwhile, Sakura felt someone staring at her, so she turned around to meet his white eyes. She looked at her for a long time, and when she realized that Hinata was lost in thought, she smiled and said, "What are you, Sakura? Do you like me that much? Or are you thinking of a way to kill me?" She said her last sentence and laughed. As a result, Hinata woke up from her reverie, saying in confusion, "No, no, I don't mean Sakura-san. Excuse me for being distracted." "Don't worry about it," Sakura said with a smile. "Thank you. Good night."

- No need to thank me, good night.

Hinata hurried to the door to see Louise carrying a plate like last night. Hinata happily took it and whispered, "Thank you for not exposing me today. I owe you one."

Louise added, "Three."

Hinata nodded, "Yes, three. Thanks again. Good night."

She was about to leave when she heard Louise say, "Good night to you too, Hinata."

Hinata went out and Louise closed the door behind her. She heard Sakura calling her. Louise walked over to her, and Sakura said, "Do you really think I'm stupid, Louise?"

Louise swallowed and continued, "I can tell your cooking from a thousand dishes. Tell me why I helped her?"

Louise looked regretfully and said, justifying herself, "Actually..."

...

- I'm back.

Naruto approached her and looked at her carefully, saying, "How did it go?" Then he looked at the plate and added, "Another plate. This means you're not expelled, or you've been expelled, and this plate is a message saying, 'This is your last plate with us.'"

Hinata took off her shoes after holding the plate out to Naruto, saying, "A miracle has happened. Rest assured, I'm not expelled."

Naruto got excited, his eyes shining, and then he said, "Tell me what happened."

They entered the kitchen, and she sat at the table while Naruto placed the cutlery on it. She had eaten dinner earlier, but she loved sharing food and talking with Naruto. He sat in front of her, waiting for her to speak. Hinata said, "... Actually, when I went in the morning and found the cook, I told her about my situation. I was like the owner of this house, pampered with servants and many cooks, so I didn't bother learning to cook even once. I also told her about my desperate need for this job. She was a kind woman and accepted my help. However, Lady Sakura was suspicious of every meal, but Louise had a good excuse, and that's how I survived." Naruto laughed loudly and then said, "When you came out this morning and said you had a plan to take over, I never imagined you'd beg the cook." Hinata laughed along with him. She truly had no other choice, but despite all the stress she'd gone through today, she had, to be honest, enjoyed it. .....

She finished brushing her short hair and looked at herself in the mirror for a while before getting up and slipping under the covers on her large bed. Sleep was caressing her eyelids as she checked her phone. The door opened, revealing the handsome man in his thirties, "I'm back."

He heard her reply quietly, "Welcome back."

A slight smile appeared on his lips as he headed toward the bathroom.

She came out after he showered and changed his clothes, lying down beside her, while she leaned her back against him, fiddling with her phone.

- It's been a very tiring day.

..... -

- I can't remember the last time I worked this hard.

..... -

- How was your day?

- Good.

- Is the maid good?

- Sort of.

- I still don't know why I chose her so quickly without testing her out like the others.

- It's special to see this in her.

- Are you happy now?

...... -

- Can I do anything else to make you answer this question?

- Maybe a new life where I can start from scratch since the day I was born? She put the phone aside, pulled the blanket over her shoulders, and exhaled with fake anger.
He sighed tiredly before approaching her and planting a kiss on her forehead. He stood up, took his pillow with him, and left the room.

.. To be continued..

❤︎ Hayes Guys ❤︎

❤︎ What do you think of the new chapter?

❤︎ Samuel's wife shocked you, didn't you?

❤︎ What do you think makes Sakura yearn for a new life?
Does it relate to Samuel?

❤︎ What do you think of the characters and events so far?

❤︎ What do you think was the reason that made Sakura marry Samuel in the first place?

❤︎ I hope you liked and enjoyed the chapter.

You may like it

A Stranger in My Bed novel

A Stranger in My Bed

2025, Zofia Kowalska

Korean Romance

Free

A trapped wife unravels her husband's cold indifference, questioning their hollow marriage while carrying his child. Between silent treatments and explosive confrontations, she demands answers from a man who treats her like a ghost in their home. As secrets linger beneath his 'work trips,' she battles between clinging to hope and breaking free. A raw story of love's absence, unseen chains, and a woman's crumbling patience.

Farah

A kind-hearted and emotional girl who struggles with feeling unloved.

Ashor

The enigmatic husband, emotionally detached and secretive about his work, leaving his family in constant uncertainty.

Haider

Their blind young son, caught in the crossfire of his parents’ fractured marriage.

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  You think you're escaping prison for freedom,
But you find yourself trapped in another prison.

"The Beginning"
– Basra

I’m sitting in the garden at dawn, light rain falling.
I sigh and close my eyes, listening to the call to prayer.
I try to soothe my soul with the sweetest words—
Words that come from a righteous person, reminding us
That we follow the religion of Muhammad,
That we must pray and remember God.

Because we need God so much.
No matter how much of our lives we waste neglecting prayer,
No one will lose except us.

I go to the sink, perform ablution,
Spread out my prayer mat, and start praying,
Asking God to ease my heart.

I finish and return to the room—like every day—
No one’s here but me and my beloved son, Haider.

I smile, leaving his hand on his cheek as he sleeps,
Just like his father used to sleep.

Standing in front of the mirror, my eyes drop to my belly.
I let my hands touch the son inside me,
Whispering softly with my hand on my stomach:
"Your father broke my heart, but don’t worry…
I’ll be both mother and father to you, like I am for your brother."

I lie down next to Haider, hug him, and fall asleep.

I wake up to Aunt Lamee’a’s voice:
"Get up, sweetheart, the noon call to prayer is sounding!"

I sit up, adjusting myself, trying to process.
I rub my eyes and mumble:
"Good morning."

She smiles.
Lamee’a: "Morning light! Come on, wake up, enough laziness. Haider’s dad is coming today."

I laugh sarcastically, pointing at myself:
"He’s coming to me? Don’t make me laugh. He doesn’t care."

Lamee’a: "Enough of that talk. Get up, pray, put on something nice, and wear some kohl. Let him lose his mind over you. And don’t worry about Haider—I’ll put him down for his nap."

I go into the bathroom, laughing at her words.
I brush my teeth, wash my face,
Perform ablution, and pray.

I get dressed in simple track pants, tie my hair in a ponytail,
And don’t put on any makeup.

The second she sees me, she slaps her cheek in disbelief.
Lamee’a: "Wow! This is how a woman looks when she hasn’t seen her husband in six months?!"
Me: "What’s he gonna do when he comes back? Wait for me to raise our son, send him to college, let him get married and have kids? Why’s he in such a hurry?"

Lamee’a: "Girl, your face is so pretty even without makeup—it’s like warm bread."
Me: "He doesn’t deserve to see me beautiful."

I notice Haider sitting in his chair, eating.
I sit next to him, kissing his cheek.
"How’s Mommy’s love doing?"

He laughs happily when he hears my voice,
Reaching out his little hands to grab mine.
When I hold them, he kisses them.
Haider: "Mama!"
Me: "My love, does Mama need to do anything for you?"
Haider: "No, Lamee’a’s food is yummy!"

Lamee’a responds:
"Better than your mom’s scrambled eggs!"
Me: "What’s this, Auntie? Haha, let’s eat."
Lamee’a: "What’s wrong? You’re pregnant again, and you’re still eating with him?"
Me: "Ugh, I don’t want anymore. I’m full."

She pours tea, and we sit eating and chatting.
Then the door opens, and he walks in.

The second I hear his footsteps,
My heart races, ready to leap out of my chest.
Why do I love him?
Why, I swear, he doesn’t deserve me.



She motioned to me with her eyes—get up.
I sighed in frustration, sat up,
And held my composure.

As usual, he was dressed in black—this darkness suits him.
Silent, but his eyes linger on Haider, who hasn’t noticed him yet.
I moved closer, hugged him, rested my head on his chest, my hand on his back.

He didn’t return the hug—just stood there, completely still.
I pulled away and said:
"I missed you so much, habibi."

He locked eyes with me, silent.
God, he looks just like him.
I tried again:
"How are you?"
He answered while stepping back, heading toward Lamee’a:
"Fine."

He hugged her, greeting her warmly, chatting like nothing was wrong.
She clung to him, crying.
Lamee’a: "My son, my dear nephew, why do you break our hearts like this? Staying away so long..."

He kissed her head.
"Work, Auntie. Just work."

The second Haider heard his father’s voice, he screamed with excitement, jumping with joy:
"Baba! Baba!"

His father barely glanced at him—didn’t even move closer.
My blood boiled inside.
This coldness… it exhausts me.
And I still love him.

I grabbed Haider’s hand to take him to the room.
His father cut me off:
"Farah, where are you going?"

I snapped:
"You’re not wanted here. Why should we stay?"

Lamee’a shot me a look, biting her finger in warning.
Then he swooped in, taking Haider from me, lowering himself to his level.
"How’s my little man?"
Haider reached up, touching his face.
"I love you. Why do you leave us? Mama cries for you when we sleep..."

My eyes widened—my son just exposed me.
I lied quickly:
"Liar! I cry because of pregnancy hormones, not because of you!"

He ignored me, leaned in, and kissed Haider’s forehead.
I exhaled, thinking bitterly: How blind can he be? He doesn’t even see his own father’s reflection in him—the same man who ruined me.

I left them, went to the room, and pulled out fresh clothes for him to change into.

A little later, he walked in alone.
Took the clothes, went to the bathroom.

I let my hair down, letting it spill over my shoulders.
I glanced at my makeup, wishing I could fix myself up—just so he’d struggle, just so he’d notice me.
I want him to say something sweet to me… but where? Oh, the misery.

He came out of the bathroom, towel-dried his hair, and sprawled on the couch, scrolling through his phone.
Farah: "You want to eat?"
He shook his head—no.

He turned off the light and slept.
As if he’s the only one in the room.
As if I’m invisible.

Tears fell at our situation.
I looked out the window—
Like every day, the guards surrounded the door.



I put my hand on my chest, trying to calm myself down. The lump in my throat was suffocating me.

I’m not like other girls. I don’t waste my time chasing after him.

I escaped one prison only to be trapped in his.

I looked at him lying on his back, his arm draped over his eyes.
I lay down beside him, turning my back to him.

Days passed—same routine. Barely any words between us. A miracle if we even finished a full sentence.
He’d spend the whole day outside, come home late at night, and sleep. And so it went.

I was done with this.
Since today was our anniversary, I decided to use it—surprise him, make us stay up together.

I got everything ready—the room, the cake. All dark cocoa, just how he likes it.
I put on a short red dress that hugged my curves.
It would’ve looked better if I wasn’t pregnant.

I left my hair natural, loose, just a touch of red lipstick and heavy kohl to make my eyes pop.

Then I waited.
And waited.
Kept checking the clock.
2:30 AM—still nothing.

He finally showed up at fajr prayer time!

Fed up, I told myself, Forget it, I’m sleeping.
But then the door opened.

He walked in, took in the room, shut the door behind him—no greeting, no words.

Pulled off his shirt, left in just his pants.
I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore—I exploded.

I pointed at him, my voice shaking.
"I exist, you know! Look at me! I’m tired of you—how long are you gonna keep this up? I swear, you’ve worn me out. Do you even remember I’m your wife? The mother of your child?"

He just stared at me, calm, silent.
My heart pounded.

Farah: "Why do you treat me like this? Five years—FIVE YEARS—I’ve been yours, and not once have you said a kind word to me. Not once have you treated me like a wife should be treated. We’re strangers sharing a room! Five years, and we’ve never gone out together, never acted like a married couple, never once have you made me feel like I’m your wife!"

He cut me off.
"Go to sleep, Farah."

I screamed.
"I’M NOT SLEEPING! I’M DONE! Your life is just traveling, leaving us alone with your aunt, and then—if God ‘guides’ you—you come back for a week or two before disappearing again, using ‘work’ as an excuse. WHAT WORK, ASHOOR?! WHAT WORK?! I’m losing my mind! You don’t even claim your marital rights except once a year!"

He interrupted again.
"I get it. What do you want?"

I thought he finally understood.
"What do you mean, ‘get it’?!"
"You want your rights."

I froze. That’s all he got from everything I just said?!

Farah: "Out of everything I poured out, THAT’S what you understood?!"
He nodded.
"You didn’t ask for anything else."

I slumped onto the couch, covering my face, crying—frustrated, exhausted. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get me at all.

Ashor: "Enough, Farah. Your hormones are all over the place. Just sleep."

I pointed at my stomach.
"I’m six months pregnant! I’m about to give birth, and you’re still ice-cold, leaving me to suffer through my pregnancy alone! Your son—BLIND, needing constant care—and you can’t even bother to ask how I am?!"

He leaned against the wall, pulled out a cigarette—his father’s old habit—lit it, and just listened. Calm. Like always.



I wiped my tears and said:
"Ashor."
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
I paused, then asked:
"What do you do for work?"

Ashor: "Not your business. That question's off limits."
Farah: "But I'm your wife—I have a right to know."
Ashor: "Doesn't concern you."
Farah: "You're doing something haram, aren't you? Why won't you tell me?"

He shot me a sharp look and I shut up.
Nobody gets to ask him about this stuff—he made that clear from our wedding night. Too damn nosy.

I moved closer, resting my head on his chest.
For the first time ever, he actually hugged me back.
I smiled against him.
"Do you love me?"

Silence.
Just the pounding of his heart, loud in my ear.

Farah: "Just tell me. Even if you hate me—just say it. I need to know what I mean to you."

He took a drag of his cigarette.
"You're in this house because...?"
Farah: "I'm your wife."
Ashor: "And Haider?"
Farah: "Our son."
Ashor: "The one in your stomach?"
Farah: "Also yours. Also mine."
Ashor: "Then stop asking stupid questions."

I exhaled, stubborn.
"I just want to hear you say it."
Ashor: "Say what?"
Farah: "That you love me."

He pulled away.
"Go to sleep. Staying up late isn't good for you."

I knew that tone—conversation over.
I stared him down.
"Is there someone else?"

His eyebrows shot up.
Ashor: "Farah, enough. You're delirious."
I shook my head.
Farah: "It's fine if there is. You're a put-together man—successful,不缺 anything. Of course you'd have someone you visit when you travel—"

A beat. Then I pushed harder.
"Did you marry her too? Is that why you're always leaving me?"

He walked away, lying down with his back to me—ignoring me like always.
But I wasn't done.

Farah: "If you love her, why did you marry me?"

His voice came cold, detached:
"Auntie trapped me with you."

Bullet to the chest.
Tears fell in streams. I choked out:
"So... you never loved me?"
Ashor: "I don't love anyone, Farah."

My eyes landed on the anniversary cake. Pathetic.
I'd humiliated myself, begging for scraps from a man who doesn't even see me.

Farah: "Divorce me, Ashor."

Eyes still closed, he answered:
"Fine. Take whatever you want in the settlement."

I turned away, hugging my knees.
Cursing myself between sobs.
"I trapped myself with you. Wasted my years."



His voice, icy, made my heart cramp worse:
"You'll get them back."
Farah: "Then why trap me with kids?"
Ashor: "You were on birth control. Your stubbornness got you pregnant."
Farah: "Aunt Lamee'a said—'Have his baby, he'll love you more.'"

A bitter laugh escaped me.
"And stupid me believed it. Like some desperate—"

Silence stretched between us.
Then he shattered it:
Ashor: "Leaving for China in two days."

I closed my eyes. What did I expect?
Farah: "Safe travels, stranger who fathered my child."


I finally fell asleep after struggling,
lying there ignorant about everything concerning the man sharing my bed.
Who is he?
What does he do?

My husband.
The father of my children.
Yet a stranger—
I know nothing but his name...

To be continued...

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Searching for love: a novel

Searching for love

2025, Zofia Kowalska

Korean Novel

Free

This story delves into the life of Hana, a young woman grappling with emotional numbness due to a troubled past and a dysfunctional family. Her world takes a turn when she encounters Jungkook, a compassionate man who strives to rekindle her lost emotions. The narrative explores themes of emotional recovery, the impact of familial relationships, and the transformative power of genuine affection.

Kang Hana

: The protagonist, emotionally withdrawn and struggling to navigate her life amidst family turmoil.

Jeon Jungkook

A kind-hearted individual who becomes a catalyst for Hana's emotional healing, offering her support and affection.

Hana's Mother

A complex character whose actions contribute to Hana's emotional distress, driven by self-interest.

The link has been copied

 
 
I suffered a lot from my family, and they tormented me. I always have thoughts of suicide, but I never tried it, maybe because I have dreams.

But no one knows anything about me, how I am, how I think, and all they care about is money, money, and more money.

This year, I will have been numb for ten years because of them.

It has been hurting me all these years, but when it goes away, I feel a little relief from its pain.

My doctor told me that I lost my feelings and it's very difficult to get them back, but what will save me to regain my feelings is "love."

Usually, I don't believe in these trivialities, but there's no harm in trying to regain my feelings.

I want to experience the overwhelming happiness that I see every day. I want to feel the energy, joy, and optimism, and my heart beating for what I love, even if it's a simple gift.

But I haven't even received a gift. All they give me is shouting and hitting.

Everything I dream of is just a distant dream. My reality is so bitter that you'd get tired of it and break in my place. My mother is not like yours, but worse. Imagine, she wanted to sell me one day for money.

And when I give her some of my money, she rolls her eyes and they immediately become lustrous, and she becomes more greedy.

But all this changed, changed because of him, because of the man I saw, a noble and respectful man, who made me regain my feelings without anything in return, who loved me and warmed me, always burying me in his arms and never shouting at me like them.

And to be honest, for the first time, I saw happiness with him, with the one I love, Jungkook, my beautiful man who changed me from one percent to a thousand percent.

He always made me feel okay, he became my psychologist, and then I fell in love with him.

He is not just a doctor, but he healed my buried wounds, and created new ones in me, and the most beautiful thing is that he never raised his hand to hit me, but rather he cares about my feelings and understands me more than my mother.

Is this why I love him and this person is always special in my life?

_

It was short, but it doesn't matter, this is not the first chapter, just an introduction.

This novel is truly realistic. There are people who are so numb that they lose their feelings because of what they've been through, and not all parents are parents. There are types of them, some are kind and some hit, and this is what makes the child have a complex and many problems, but as they progress in life, they will find that person who loves them and they will change them for the better, of course, if their intentions are pure and their heart is good.

And this is what I mean by my words, the heroine of the story will be living an ordinary life, but what ruins it is her family and their control over her, and this is what made her lose her feelings because of them.

- Jeon Jungkook.

- Kang Hana.

_______________






Chapter 1: Escape

As usual, I escaped from home because of my mother, who always blames me for everything. I walk alone in the street in the middle of the night. I'm already used to escaping at night.

It started to rain on me, and despite the snow surrounding the place, I didn't care. My desire now is to be alone.

I didn't feel like I was going to cry or rejoice. I didn't feel anything except that I wanted to be alone without speaking.

I stopped at the grocery store, it was rather small, I'm used to buying from it and then going to the library.

I entered the grocery store and took an energy drink and some chips because I forgot to eat at home because of my disrespectful family.

I carried the items and went to the checkout counter, only to be met with that arrogant, ugly girl.

"That'll be a hundred!"

She said it rather arrogantly, as I told you. I threw her a hundred dollars and left without saying a word.

I carried the bag in my hand and pushed the door with the other and entered the library. I'm inside now and no one is here, which is kind of good.

Upon entering, I met the library owner, who was looking at me as usual. I continued on my way without looking at him.

"Tch, that cold one!"

I heard what he said as if he meant it. I didn't care and continued on my way to my seat.

This library is the smallest library in Korea, and it's my favorite because I don't like crowds.

I took that seat on the couch where I always sit, after choosing a horror book to read.

I opened the energy drink and chips and started reading and drinking.

"Hey, you, eat quietly!"

Look who's talking, as if he didn't eat more than me. He was slurping noodles like a hungry cat.

"Oh my god, why doesn't this one talk? You're Hana, I'm talking to you, girl!"

I continued eating as if I didn't hear him, in addition to drinking my drink in a provocative way.

"Uncle Jung, I'm reading, please don't talk to me."

I put a chip in my mouth and continued reading, only to hear the sound of his slippers coming towards me. I lowered the book and saw that it was indeed him.

"Stop being provocative and speak respectfully, you foolish girl, I'm your uncle!"

His index finger pointed at me as if I had committed a great sin. I put the paper inside the book and closed it tightly with my hand, startling him and making him back away.

"Okay, Uncle Jung, I was reading, I didn't do anything to make you talk to me like that."

He pushed his long hair back, even his hair was longer than mine, and looked at me from bottom to top.

"Never mind, if I didn't know your parents, I would have taught you a lesson, you naughty girl!"

He walked away from me, making that slipper-tapping sound. I picked up my book again and continued reading.

I took a sip of my cold drink, ate a chip, and refocused on the book.

"Welcome, it's been a while since you came!"

I heard that uncle's voice and the sound of hands shaking. I didn't care and continued reading.

"Is anyone here, or is the library empty?"

Oh no, this man is going to come and read now, damn it!

"Yes, there's a girl, she's always here in the library, don't worry about her, she doesn't talk much!"

I heard small pats, is he talking about me? Why is that uncle talking about me!

Oh, I can't stand that uncle!

"Okay, I'll go in then."

The sound of footsteps approaching my area. I continued reading the book, and in my excitement, I finished drinking my drink and eating my chips.

I saw someone passing in front of me, I didn't look at him yet and I don't want to look at him. I raised my eyes to the drink and reached out my hand for it.

That man is indeed here, but where did he disappear!

I put it to my mouth and took a sip.

"Do you know where the red book is? The one with black on it."

I looked up at the one who asked me and saw that it was the one who was talking to the uncle a while ago, his hair is short and black, he's wearing full jeans.

I nodded my head and got up from my place, going to him. I stopped at the shelf he was standing next to and pulled out the book that was next to him, but he didn't see it.





"It's called the Red Book!"

I picked it up and handed it to him. I looked at him and noticed that he had wide eyes like a gazelle.

"Thank you, I didn't see it here!"

He was looking at me, so I just looked at the ground. He took it from me and I went back to my place immediately. I picked up my book and continued reading. My drink was already finished, and so were the chips, so I threw them in the trash.

"By the way, what's your name?"

I stopped reading and looked at him over the book and saw how he was sitting. Is he always this curious?

"Excuse me?"

He sat up straight in front of me and extended his hand towards me.

"We talked to each other and I didn't know your name, so let's get to know each other. Hello, I'm Jeon Jungkook, and you?"

I looked at his outstretched palm and saw many tattoos on it. I looked back at his face and extended my hand towards his. I shouldn't embarrass him.

"I'm Hana, Kang Hana."

His hand was somewhere between rough and soft. After we shook hands, I pulled my hand away from his immediately.

"Nice to meet you!"

I nodded my head at him and got up from my place, going to drink a glass of water. I felt something strange towards him.

I poured myself some water, and as I was pouring, my eyes met that uncle's. I didn't care and drank my glass, but he can't help but talk.

"Don't you want to go home, girl? You have school tomorrow, how will you wake up early when you're this lazy!"

As usual, he spat his venom at me, and how much I always hate him for his harsh words. I didn't speak and threw the glass in the trash and went back to my place. I saw that man, Jungkook, was indeed sitting on the couch, engrossed in reading.

I went to my seat, picked up my bag, and went to the door, intending to go back. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, on one hand my mother, and on the other hand that uncle.

Before I pushed the door, that man whose voice I memorized called out to me.

"Wait, why are you leaving? We just got to know each other!"

I turned to him and saw him standing, waiting for my response. I sighed and left the place without saying a word. What if he's from some mafia gang trying to trap me? That's dangerous!

The cold weather froze me, but I continued walking on my feet. I don't know why we have school tomorrow when they said they would give us a holiday because of the weather, but they're negligent.

"Hana, wait!"

No, I don't believe it, did that man named Junglook, I don't know his name, follow me? I continued walking without turning around, as if I didn't hear.

"Hana!"

I felt a hand pulling me by my arm, which made me stagger, and we both fell to the ground because our feet slipped on the snow because of his movement.

"What did you just do? Don't you know the meaning of dignity? I don't want to talk to you, so why are you following me?"

I was the one on the ground and he was on top of me, smiling shamelessly, so I pushed him away from his shoulder strongly, which made him move to the side, groaning.

"Take it easy, girl, I just wanted to get to know you, why are you making such a big deal out of it? You're quiet and cold!"

I looked at him as he was brushing the snow off his clothes. I bent down and picked up my hat and his hat and handed it to him.

It's not a courtesy, but because he's a fool who doesn't pay attention!

"Stop following me and stay away from me, whatever your intentions are."

I continued on my way after he took the hat and laughed as if I were a clown. I didn't care and continued on my way.

"Eccentric."

From a distance, I heard what he said. Let him say what he wants, I won't care about a wretch like him.

I'm now in front of the house, I don't know how I'll enter or even how I'll see my mother. Never mind, just go in.

I opened the door slowly and looked inside, it was dark, so I was relieved and closed the door behind me and went upstairs. She's probably asleep now.






Chapter 2: Work

All classes were already over. I picked up my bag and went outside the school because my friend Hayoon told me she was waiting for me outside.

"Come on, Hana, why are you so late? We also have to study for tomorrow's exam!"

I continued walking forward while she stood in her place, grumbling. I saw her catch up with me.

"We'll go straight to the library."

I told her as I continued walking outside.

We arrived at the library I always go to. Hayoon and I stood in front of it, holding bags from the food store.

We entered the library, and the first thing I saw when I entered was the face of that uncle who always insults me. I didn't care and continued walking.

"That rude, naughty girl!"

I heard his mumbling reach my ears. I sat on the couch with Hayoon next to me.

"Why do you always ignore him and not answer him?"

She asked me while taking her books out of her bag. I replied to her while looking inside my bag.

"Because I'm not in the mood to argue with him, especially if he's an uncle like him."

I put all my things on the table and we immediately started studying. An hour, two hours, we were engulfed for three hours, and we finally finished.

We already ate the ramen, but I'm still definitely hungry. Why didn't I bring a sandwich? Never mind, it's not important to eat.

"I have to go home to go to work."

I addressed my friend who was still devouring her plate greedily. Today, the store owner called me and told me to come a little late.

"Okay, I'll go with you, wait!"

I put my bag on my back, waiting for her to stand up. Until she finished, I went to the door and stood next to it, seeing that uncle's eyes on me.

"Don't worry, I already cleaned my place and didn't leave a trace."

I left the library before he scolded me. Hayoon said goodbye to me in the middle of the road, and now I'm entering the house. I'm still really hungry, did my mother cook?

"Mom?"

I immediately called out to her when I entered the door, only to hear her voice shouting, contrary to what I said.

"What!!"

Damn it, why did I call her, for God's sake.

"Did you make food?"

I saw her sitting in the living room watching something. She turned her face to me and said coldly.

"No, do you want me to cook too? Cook yourself!"

"Okay, it's not like I'm hungry."

I went upstairs to my room. I entered it and immediately took a shower. For heaven's sake, why did I ask her and why did I talk to her in the first place?

Never mind.

I put on my clothes and quickly went to the cake shop, that place that relaxes me and has a wonderful atmosphere.

That's my dream.

"Hello."

I greeted the store owner who I saw sitting at the table, fiddling with his phone. When he heard my voice, he quickly stood up.

"Hana, how are you?"

Damn it, this man has a beautiful tongue and a beautiful face. Honestly, he's the best one to deal with me.

"I'm fine, Mr. Taehyung, I'll go inside!"

He smiled at me and I went inside. That man is better than my useless stepfather.

I went to the kitchen and when the cake maker saw me, she quickly called me.

"Hana, come quickly, there are no cakes outside, so bring them out quickly!"

She handed me one cake, and she carried one, in addition to the ones left on the table. I quickly went out and put them in their places, then went back to bring out the rest.

While I was putting the cake in the refrigerator, someone addressed me.

"Excuse me, I want a cake."






"Wait a moment, please."

I couldn't look at him because I was bent over, arranging a place for the cake.

I heard his footsteps approaching me.

"I can't, I'm in a hurry, Kang Hana!"

Did he call me by my name? I quickly raised my body and looked at him.

"Jeon, what's your name?"

What is this guy doing here?

"Jungkook, please."

He smiled at me and leaned his forearms on the glass in front of me.

"I came to get a cake and saw you here by chance, isn't it a beautiful coincidence?"

Damn him and me, how did this guy know me?

"Which cake do you want?"

He winked at me while adjusting his black jacket and black hat.

"One of the ones standing in front of me, please."

I rolled my eyes at this clingy guy, what do I have to do with cake!

"I'm a human, not an object."

He hummed at me and brought his face closer to the glass.

"I want to take you somewhere, to change your gloomy mood."

I raised my eyebrows, opposing this matter.

"I don't want to, I have work and I'm not free for you!"

I walked away from him and entered the kitchen, but he followed me, the clingy guy.

"I didn't ask for your opinion, you're coming with me, I already spoke to the store owner and he agreed."

I turned to him and hit him lightly on his chest.

"Stop following me, leave me alone."

He grabbed my hand that hit his chest and pulled me closer to him, where my eyes met his.

"Stop being difficult and come with me."

He leaned closer to my ear, and the scent of his perfume spread in my nose.

"I'll buy you ice cream."

He stepped away from me and looked into my eyes, no!

"I don't want to, take a cake and leave!"

I pulled my hand away from his and turned to leave, but suddenly I felt someone carrying me, and I found out it was him.

"What are you doing? Put me down."

He carried me on his shoulder and started walking me outside, is he crazy?

"You told me to take my cake and leave, and here I am doing it."

He picked up my bag and coat, then opened the store door, as soon as he got out, he dropped me on the ground.

"You're going with me, it's not your choice!"

I rolled my eyes up as he put my coat and bag on me.

"I'll make you very happy."

As if he could, he doesn't know anything, I've lost hope.

Damn it.

"You won't be able to."

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me forward towards a car.

"Yes, I will."

Why is he stubborn, jumping to conclusions without understanding? He opened the car door for me and put me inside.

"You don't know anything."

He sighed and closed my door, then went around to the other side and got into the car.

"Why are you so cold, you don't smile, you don't get sad, you don't cry, I can barely hear your voice."

I put my hands together, hugging my stomach, and my eyes were fixed on the window, watching the rain fall.

"That's none of your business."

I saw him looking at me, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth open.

"You're even rude!"

He parked the car and we got out of it. He grabbed my hand and started pushing me lightly.

What is this now, are we in a toy store?

"You'll like this store."

He pushed the door and we went in, there were no lights, just the lights of the toys.

"I don't like anything."

He went to the store owner and took out his wallet for him.

"If you please, money for games for a hundred."

He handed him a hundred dollars and the other gave him money I don't know what it is, he leaned closer to my ear, saying:

"At least be polite with me, I'll entertain you."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the games, okay, he's right, it's not his fault.

"What do you want to try first?"

He asked me as if I know.

"I don't know."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to a place.

"Here!"

I looked at the area, and there were motorcycles for two.

"We'll ride them and see who wins."

"Come on, get on!"

He got on his and I just looked at him.

"I don't know how to do this."



He immediately got off his and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the bike.

"I'll teach you."

He pointed to the bike for me to get on it, and I was shocked when he got on behind me, and my back hit his chest.

"Let's start playing."

He placed my hands on the bike's handlebars and his hands over mine. I felt his rough hands on mine.

He pressed a few buttons on that bike and the game started.

"We'll sway a little, you might feel like you're going to fall, but you won't fall, I'm with you."

I gave him a hum, so he put his feet behind mine and his head over my shoulder.

"We won't fall, will we?"

He gave me a hum and started going to the right.

"No, I'm with you, don't worry!"

What is this? Is this a race on the screen?

He started turning to the far left, so I grabbed his hand that was holding the bike's handlebar.

"You steer and I'll hold you."

I suddenly felt his hands wrap around my waist and his feet on the ground.

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