Searching for love

2025, Zofia Kowalska

Korean Novel

Free

This story delves into the life of Hana, a young woman grappling with emotional numbness due to a troubled past and a dysfunctional family. Her world takes a turn when she encounters Jungkook, a compassionate man who strives to rekindle her lost emotions. The narrative explores themes of emotional recovery, the impact of familial relationships, and the transformative power of genuine affection.

Kang Hana

: The protagonist, emotionally withdrawn and struggling to navigate her life amidst family turmoil.

Jeon Jungkook

A kind-hearted individual who becomes a catalyst for Hana's emotional healing, offering her support and affection.

Hana's Mother

A complex character whose actions contribute to Hana's emotional distress, driven by self-interest.

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I suffered a lot from my family, and they tormented me. I always have thoughts of suicide, but I never tried it, maybe because I have dreams.

But no one knows anything about me, how I am, how I think, and all they care about is money, money, and more money.

This year, I will have been numb for ten years because of them.

It has been hurting me all these years, but when it goes away, I feel a little relief from its pain.

My doctor told me that I lost my feelings and it's very difficult to get them back, but what will save me to regain my feelings is "love."

Usually, I don't believe in these trivialities, but there's no harm in trying to regain my feelings.

I want to experience the overwhelming happiness that I see every day. I want to feel the energy, joy, and optimism, and my heart beating for what I love, even if it's a simple gift.

But I haven't even received a gift. All they give me is shouting and hitting.

Everything I dream of is just a distant dream. My reality is so bitter that you'd get tired of it and break in my place. My mother is not like yours, but worse. Imagine, she wanted to sell me one day for money.

And when I give her some of my money, she rolls her eyes and they immediately become lustrous, and she becomes more greedy.

But all this changed, changed because of him, because of the man I saw, a noble and respectful man, who made me regain my feelings without anything in return, who loved me and warmed me, always burying me in his arms and never shouting at me like them.

And to be honest, for the first time, I saw happiness with him, with the one I love, Jungkook, my beautiful man who changed me from one percent to a thousand percent.

He always made me feel okay, he became my psychologist, and then I fell in love with him.

He is not just a doctor, but he healed my buried wounds, and created new ones in me, and the most beautiful thing is that he never raised his hand to hit me, but rather he cares about my feelings and understands me more than my mother.

Is this why I love him and this person is always special in my life?

It was short, but it doesn't matter, this is not the first chapter, just an introduction.

This novel is truly realistic. There are people who are so numb that they lose their feelings because of what they've been through, and not all parents are parents. There are types of them, some are kind and some hit, and this is what makes the child have a complex and many problems, but as they progress in life, they will find that person who loves them and they will change them for the better, of course, if their intentions are pure and their heart is good.

And this is what I mean by my words, the heroine of the story will be living an ordinary life, but what ruins it is her family and their control over her, and this is what made her lose her feelings because of them.

- Jeon Jungkook.

- Kang Hana.

_______________

Chapter 1: Escape

As usual, I escaped from home because of my mother, who always blames me for everything. I walk alone in the street in the middle of the night. I'm already used to escaping at night.

It started to rain on me, and despite the snow surrounding the place, I didn't care. My desire now is to be alone.

I didn't feel like I was going to cry or rejoice. I didn't feel anything except that I wanted to be alone without speaking.

I stopped at the grocery store, it was rather small, I'm used to buying from it and then going to the library.

I entered the grocery store and took an energy drink and some chips because I forgot to eat at home because of my disrespectful family.

I carried the items and went to the checkout counter, only to be met with that arrogant, ugly girl.

"That'll be a hundred!"

She said it rather arrogantly, as I told you. I threw her a hundred dollars and left without saying a word.

I carried the bag in my hand and pushed the door with the other and entered the library. I'm inside now and no one is here, which is kind of good.

Upon entering, I met the library owner, who was looking at me as usual. I continued on my way without looking at him.

"Tch, that cold one!"

I heard what he said as if he meant it. I didn't care and continued on my way to my seat.

This library is the smallest library in Korea, and it's my favorite because I don't like crowds.

I took that seat on the couch where I always sit, after choosing a horror book to read.

I opened the energy drink and chips and started reading and drinking.

"Hey, you, eat quietly!"

Look who's talking, as if he didn't eat more than me. He was slurping noodles like a hungry cat.

"Oh my god, why doesn't this one talk? You're Hana, I'm talking to you, girl!"

I continued eating as if I didn't hear him, in addition to drinking my drink in a provocative way.

"Uncle Jung, I'm reading, please don't talk to me."

I put a chip in my mouth and continued reading, only to hear the sound of his slippers coming towards me. I lowered the book and saw that it was indeed him.

"Stop being provocative and speak respectfully, you foolish girl, I'm your uncle!"

His index finger pointed at me as if I had committed a great sin. I put the paper inside the book and closed it tightly with my hand, startling him and making him back away.

"Okay, Uncle Jung, I was reading, I didn't do anything to make you talk to me like that."

He pushed his long hair back, even his hair was longer than mine, and looked at me from bottom to top.

"Never mind, if I didn't know your parents, I would have taught you a lesson, you naughty girl!"

He walked away from me, making that slipper-tapping sound. I picked up my book again and continued reading.

I took a sip of my cold drink, ate a chip, and refocused on the book.

"Welcome, it's been a while since you came!"

I heard that uncle's voice and the sound of hands shaking. I didn't care and continued reading.

"Is anyone here, or is the library empty?"

Oh no, this man is going to come and read now, damn it!

"Yes, there's a girl, she's always here in the library, don't worry about her, she doesn't talk much!"

I heard small pats, is he talking about me? Why is that uncle talking about me!

Oh, I can't stand that uncle!

"Okay, I'll go in then."

The sound of footsteps approaching my area. I continued reading the book, and in my excitement, I finished drinking my drink and eating my chips.

I saw someone passing in front of me, I didn't look at him yet and I don't want to look at him. I raised my eyes to the drink and reached out my hand for it.

That man is indeed here, but where did he disappear!

I put it to my mouth and took a sip.

"Do you know where the red book is? The one with black on it."

I looked up at the one who asked me and saw that it was the one who was talking to the uncle a while ago, his hair is short and black, he's wearing full jeans.

I nodded my head and got up from my place, going to him. I stopped at the shelf he was standing next to and pulled out the book that was next to him, but he didn't see it.

"It's called the Red Book!"

I picked it up and handed it to him. I looked at him and noticed that he had wide eyes like a gazelle.

"Thank you, I didn't see it here!"

He was looking at me, so I just looked at the ground. He took it from me and I went back to my place immediately. I picked up my book and continued reading. My drink was already finished, and so were the chips, so I threw them in the trash.

"By the way, what's your name?"

I stopped reading and looked at him over the book and saw how he was sitting. Is he always this curious?

"Excuse me?"

He sat up straight in front of me and extended his hand towards me.

"We talked to each other and I didn't know your name, so let's get to know each other. Hello, I'm Jeon Jungkook, and you?"

I looked at his outstretched palm and saw many tattoos on it. I looked back at his face and extended my hand towards his. I shouldn't embarrass him.

"I'm Hana, Kang Hana."

His hand was somewhere between rough and soft. After we shook hands, I pulled my hand away from his immediately.

"Nice to meet you!"

I nodded my head at him and got up from my place, going to drink a glass of water. I felt something strange towards him.

I poured myself some water, and as I was pouring, my eyes met that uncle's. I didn't care and drank my glass, but he can't help but talk.

"Don't you want to go home, girl? You have school tomorrow, how will you wake up early when you're this lazy!"

As usual, he spat his venom at me, and how much I always hate him for his harsh words. I didn't speak and threw the glass in the trash and went back to my place. I saw that man, Jungkook, was indeed sitting on the couch, engrossed in reading.

I went to my seat, picked up my bag, and went to the door, intending to go back. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, on one hand my mother, and on the other hand that uncle.

Before I pushed the door, that man whose voice I memorized called out to me.

"Wait, why are you leaving? We just got to know each other!"

I turned to him and saw him standing, waiting for my response. I sighed and left the place without saying a word. What if he's from some mafia gang trying to trap me? That's dangerous!

The cold weather froze me, but I continued walking on my feet. I don't know why we have school tomorrow when they said they would give us a holiday because of the weather, but they're negligent.

"Hana, wait!"

No, I don't believe it, did that man named Junglook, I don't know his name, follow me? I continued walking without turning around, as if I didn't hear.

"Hana!"

I felt a hand pulling me by my arm, which made me stagger, and we both fell to the ground because our feet slipped on the snow because of his movement.

"What did you just do? Don't you know the meaning of dignity? I don't want to talk to you, so why are you following me?"

I was the one on the ground and he was on top of me, smiling shamelessly, so I pushed him away from his shoulder strongly, which made him move to the side, groaning.

"Take it easy, girl, I just wanted to get to know you, why are you making such a big deal out of it? You're quiet and cold!"

I looked at him as he was brushing the snow off his clothes. I bent down and picked up my hat and his hat and handed it to him.

It's not a courtesy, but because he's a fool who doesn't pay attention!

"Stop following me and stay away from me, whatever your intentions are."

I continued on my way after he took the hat and laughed as if I were a clown. I didn't care and continued on my way.

"Eccentric."

From a distance, I heard what he said. Let him say what he wants, I won't care about a wretch like him.

I'm now in front of the house, I don't know how I'll enter or even how I'll see my mother. Never mind, just go in.

I opened the door slowly and looked inside, it was dark, so I was relieved and closed the door behind me and went upstairs. She's probably asleep now.

Chapter 2: Work

All classes were already over. I picked up my bag and went outside the school because my friend Hayoon told me she was waiting for me outside.

"Come on, Hana, why are you so late? We also have to study for tomorrow's exam!"

I continued walking forward while she stood in her place, grumbling. I saw her catch up with me.

"We'll go straight to the library."

I told her as I continued walking outside.

We arrived at the library I always go to. Hayoon and I stood in front of it, holding bags from the food store.

We entered the library, and the first thing I saw when I entered was the face of that uncle who always insults me. I didn't care and continued walking.

"That rude, naughty girl!"

I heard his mumbling reach my ears. I sat on the couch with Hayoon next to me.

"Why do you always ignore him and not answer him?"

She asked me while taking her books out of her bag. I replied to her while looking inside my bag.

"Because I'm not in the mood to argue with him, especially if he's an uncle like him."

I put all my things on the table and we immediately started studying. An hour, two hours, we were engulfed for three hours, and we finally finished.

We already ate the ramen, but I'm still definitely hungry. Why didn't I bring a sandwich? Never mind, it's not important to eat.

"I have to go home to go to work."

I addressed my friend who was still devouring her plate greedily. Today, the store owner called me and told me to come a little late.

"Okay, I'll go with you, wait!"

I put my bag on my back, waiting for her to stand up. Until she finished, I went to the door and stood next to it, seeing that uncle's eyes on me.

"Don't worry, I already cleaned my place and didn't leave a trace."

I left the library before he scolded me. Hayoon said goodbye to me in the middle of the road, and now I'm entering the house. I'm still really hungry, did my mother cook?

"Mom?"

I immediately called out to her when I entered the door, only to hear her voice shouting, contrary to what I said.

"What!!"

Damn it, why did I call her, for God's sake.

"Did you make food?"

I saw her sitting in the living room watching something. She turned her face to me and said coldly.

"No, do you want me to cook too? Cook yourself!"

"Okay, it's not like I'm hungry."

I went upstairs to my room. I entered it and immediately took a shower. For heaven's sake, why did I ask her and why did I talk to her in the first place?

Never mind.

I put on my clothes and quickly went to the cake shop, that place that relaxes me and has a wonderful atmosphere.

That's my dream.

"Hello."

I greeted the store owner who I saw sitting at the table, fiddling with his phone. When he heard my voice, he quickly stood up.

"Hana, how are you?"

Damn it, this man has a beautiful tongue and a beautiful face. Honestly, he's the best one to deal with me.

"I'm fine, Mr. Taehyung, I'll go inside!"

He smiled at me and I went inside. That man is better than my useless stepfather.

I went to the kitchen and when the cake maker saw me, she quickly called me.

"Hana, come quickly, there are no cakes outside, so bring them out quickly!"

She handed me one cake, and she carried one, in addition to the ones left on the table. I quickly went out and put them in their places, then went back to bring out the rest.

While I was putting the cake in the refrigerator, someone addressed me.

"Excuse me, I want a cake."

"Wait a moment, please."

I couldn't look at him because I was bent over, arranging a place for the cake.

I heard his footsteps approaching me.

"I can't, I'm in a hurry, Kang Hana!"

Did he call me by my name? I quickly raised my body and looked at him.

"Jeon, what's your name?"

What is this guy doing here?

"Jungkook, please."

He smiled at me and leaned his forearms on the glass in front of me.

"I came to get a cake and saw you here by chance, isn't it a beautiful coincidence?"

Damn him and me, how did this guy know me?

"Which cake do you want?"

He winked at me while adjusting his black jacket and black hat.

"One of the ones standing in front of me, please."

I rolled my eyes at this clingy guy, what do I have to do with cake!

"I'm a human, not an object."

He hummed at me and brought his face closer to the glass.

"I want to take you somewhere, to change your gloomy mood."

I raised my eyebrows, opposing this matter.

"I don't want to, I have work and I'm not free for you!"

I walked away from him and entered the kitchen, but he followed me, the clingy guy.

"I didn't ask for your opinion, you're coming with me, I already spoke to the store owner and he agreed."

I turned to him and hit him lightly on his chest.

"Stop following me, leave me alone."

He grabbed my hand that hit his chest and pulled me closer to him, where my eyes met his.

"Stop being difficult and come with me."

He leaned closer to my ear, and the scent of his perfume spread in my nose.

"I'll buy you ice cream."

He stepped away from me and looked into my eyes, no!

"I don't want to, take a cake and leave!"

I pulled my hand away from his and turned to leave, but suddenly I felt someone carrying me, and I found out it was him.

"What are you doing? Put me down."

He carried me on his shoulder and started walking me outside, is he crazy?

"You told me to take my cake and leave, and here I am doing it."

He picked up my bag and coat, then opened the store door, as soon as he got out, he dropped me on the ground.

"You're going with me, it's not your choice!"

I rolled my eyes up as he put my coat and bag on me.

"I'll make you very happy."

As if he could, he doesn't know anything, I've lost hope.

Damn it.

"You won't be able to."

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me forward towards a car.

"Yes, I will."

Why is he stubborn, jumping to conclusions without understanding? He opened the car door for me and put me inside.

"You don't know anything."

He sighed and closed my door, then went around to the other side and got into the car.

"Why are you so cold, you don't smile, you don't get sad, you don't cry, I can barely hear your voice."

I put my hands together, hugging my stomach, and my eyes were fixed on the window, watching the rain fall.

"That's none of your business."

I saw him looking at me, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth open.

"You're even rude!"

He parked the car and we got out of it. He grabbed my hand and started pushing me lightly.

What is this now, are we in a toy store?

"You'll like this store."

He pushed the door and we went in, there were no lights, just the lights of the toys.

"I don't like anything."

He went to the store owner and took out his wallet for him.

"If you please, money for games for a hundred."

He handed him a hundred dollars and the other gave him money I don't know what it is, he leaned closer to my ear, saying:

"At least be polite with me, I'll entertain you."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the games, okay, he's right, it's not his fault.

"What do you want to try first?"

He asked me as if I know.

"I don't know."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to a place.

"Here!"

I looked at the area, and there were motorcycles for two.

"We'll ride them and see who wins."

"Come on, get on!"

He got on his and I just looked at him.

"I don't know how to do this."

He immediately got off his and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the bike.

"I'll teach you."

He pointed to the bike for me to get on it, and I was shocked when he got on behind me, and my back hit his chest.

"Let's start playing."

He placed my hands on the bike's handlebars and his hands over mine. I felt his rough hands on mine.

He pressed a few buttons on that bike and the game started.

"We'll sway a little, you might feel like you're going to fall, but you won't fall, I'm with you."

I gave him a hum, so he put his feet behind mine and his head over my shoulder.

"We won't fall, will we?"

He gave me a hum and started going to the right.

"No, I'm with you, don't worry!"

What is this? Is this a race on the screen?

He started turning to the far left, so I grabbed his hand that was holding the bike's handlebar.

"You steer and I'll hold you."

I suddenly felt his hands wrap around my waist and his feet on the ground.

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